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Random Blather

~ Feverish ravings of a middle-aged mind

Random Blather

Author Archives: dougom

Bush Doctrine, Stand Your Ground, and the Modern G.O.P.

03 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by dougom in News, Opinion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

bush, bush doctrine, politics, Republicans, stand your ground, zimmerman

bush_1.1.1
I still can’t believe so many people voted for this ignorant clown
(Image courtesy Tony Auth via Untamed Expressions))

I like to read right before I go to bed.  I’m finding that, in this age where you can find almost any type of information online, I often queue up topics for later study while I’m watching a movie or a TV show on my iPhone or iPad.  So for example, last night I was watching Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer in “Tombstone”, and it got me reading about Wyatt Earp and Bat Masterson and the Old West in general as my pre-bed reading.

And in that mode, for some reason this morning I looked up the Powell Doctrine (which is a very restrained foreign policy in most respects, and which I was startled to find was based on a policy articulated originally by Casper Weinberger, who I also regarded as a dangerous lunatic who never met a weapons system he didn’t like).  Which led me to what is almost the diametric opposite of the Powell Doctrine:  The “Bush Doctrine”.  The Bush Doctrine is many things to many people, but I think most folks would agree that it has a couple of main components:  “Spreading democracy” (at gun-point, often) and “pre-emptive war” (i.e., “If we think you may eventually threaten us, or we think you’re harboring terrorists, we get to bomb your ass”).

And the more I read about pre-emptive war, the more it seemed like a national version of Florida’s “stand your ground” law.  The basics of the “stand your ground” law are that, if someone is threatening you, or you think someone is threatening you, you can take their ass out and expect to face no consequences.  George Zimmerman–the one in Florida, not the guy who sells suits in California–is the poster child for this.  He basically picked a fight with that poor kid and, when the kid (allegedly, though we’ll never know because he’s dead) started wailing on his ass, he shot him dead and got off scot free.

Which is almost exactly like Bush’s “pre-emptive war” doctrine, when you think about it.  “Saddam Hussein is a scary man who we think might have nasty weapons, so we’re going to shoot him dead!”  (I personally don’t see a whole lot of difference between this policy and the Pre-Crime unit in “Minority Report”, but then I’m a screaming lefty who has been worried about the police state for decades, so what do I know?  Oh, wait; we do have a police state now!  Guess us screaming lefties were right!)

And that led me to the realization that the vast majority of Republican policies are based on fear.  Raw, unreasoning fear.  Why do the Republicans oppose everything–literally everything–Obama proposes?  They’re afraid of President Blackenstein (to use Bill Maher’s phrase).  Why do they constantly protect guns and gun owners?  Because they’re afraid of the government.  Why do they pass so many anti-immigrant laws?  Because they’re afraid of immigrants.  Same with anti-gay laws, anti-women laws, anti-abortion laws, and on and on and on.  They’re just afraid.

Which makes sense, really.  I’ve long thought Republicans were simply bullies.  This was especially clear during the Bush years, when you had a bunch of bullies–Rumsfeld, Bush, Cheney, etc.–running the government.  And at heart, bullies are scared cowards, who bully out of fear.  

I don’t have an answer, honestly, other than that the entire Republican party get some serious therapy, and maybe start mainlining Theanine.  But at the very least, we need to point out and keep pointing out their irrational fears, and do our best to stop their depraved march back to the 19th Century.  And hey, if you have any genius ideas, be sure to share them below!

A Study with Slugs: Final Chapters Available!

03 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by dougom in Fiction, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

mystery, novel, santa cruz

2011 Bobby Banana Slug 3 640x480

Well, I’ve been lax about notifying you–my loyal readers, whoever the heck you may be–about my recent chapter postings of my first novel, “A Study with Slugs”, on Wattpad.  Bad on me.  As I explained a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been traveling a lot, and in the previous week have been on vacation.

But I have been diligently posting chapters all the same, because I have OCD, and I just can’t stop until I’m done.  But it’s done.  You can now read Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16 (the conclusion), and Chapter 17 (the denouement in which, in fine A.C. Doyle/Holmesian style, Our Hero explains to Our Narrator all the details of the case that have not, as yet, come out.  Hey, he established the precedent; I’m just following it!)  So read and enjoy, or read and critique, or do whatever, but there you have it.

I expect to soon be posting the full novel here in ePub format for your downloading pleasure.  If you have been waiting for that, expect it sometime in the next few days.  (Though I still don’t have a cover image because my pal Paul the artist has totally fallen down on the job.  Hard for me to complain since he was doing it for free but still:  Damn!)

Coming up next will be a short story in the same milieu, with Tosh and Zack solving the mystery of the Red-headed experiment.  Don’t have to be much of a Sherlockian to know what the inspiration for that one is, yeah?  Hope you enjoy it; I’ve sure enjoyed writing it.

After that, I’m working on two separate novels:  A young-adult steampunk novel (with air ships, of course!), and a modern urban fantasy/SF/alternate worlds novel.  I don’t which one I’ll be cranking on the most, or if I’ll get distracted by another short story idea like I did with the Red-headed experiment Tosh/Zack story.  We shall see.  In the meantime, as they say: Watch This Space.

Two New Chapters Available

14 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by dougom in Fiction, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

fiction, mystery, novel, santa cruz

banana-slug-1-large
Image courtesy of Magickcanoe.com blog

I’ve fallen behind a bit in my blogging, I admit; I was traveling for work-related reasons, and I have found that when I travel, at the end of the day all I want to do is sit in my hotel room like a sack of suet, order room service, and watch a movie.  Usually a cartoon. I’m not particularly good at traveling, and it takes a lot out of me.  (Ironically, I enjoy being different places–it’s the getting there that I have a problem with.)

Also, this was in Ft. Collins, Colorado, at about 6000 feet of altitude, and given that I was only there for 3 days, I didn’t acclimate very much.  I mean, jeez, just a flight of stairs had me gasping, and I’m not in that bad a shape.

Be that as it may, allow me to compensate for those three or four of you not in my immediate family who are actually reading my book chapters as they come out, and tell you that I have posted both Chapter 12 and Chapter 13 of my mystery novel on Wattpad.  Surf on over, read, and (let us hope) enjoy.  And comment!

Zimmerman Trial

14 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by dougom in News, Opinion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Florida, fucking insanity of our judicial "system", justice, martin, zimmerman

zimmerman martin
Photo of Florida courthouse courtesy of Inside the Belly of the Beltway Beast

I haven’t followed the Zimmerman trial because I’ve been trying to avoid stress, and I knew that no matter the verdict, if I paid any attention to it, it would stress me out.

Now that the verdict’s in, I’m not going to write about it except to say this:  An unarmed boy was shot and killed by an armed adult and the adult faces no consequences.  All else is lawyering and obfuscation.

If you believe the worst of Martin–that he savagely beat Zimmerman–and think that Zimmerman’s response was appropriate, then there’s no point in discussion; you and I live in completely different worlds.  Even in the Old West, which people nowadays regard as the height of armed anarchy, the other guy had to draw his weapon first for it to be okay to shoot (and kill) him.  This kid didn’t even have a weapon.  So if you believe that it’s okay for the law in 21st Century Florida to be more regressive than in the anarchic Old West, hey, go right ahead, but I have nothing to say to you.

As for me, I’m simply disgusted.  And that’s all I can really say.

And We’re Up to Chapter 11 on Wattpad!

07 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by dougom in Fiction, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

mystery, novel, santa cruz

friendly slug
Image courtesy of IRMacGuyver via the IGN boards

Now up to Chapter 11 of my mystery, which (in case I haven’t beaten it into the ground enough) is a novel that I wrote during last November’s National Novel Writing Month.  I’m pretty happy with it.  A few people are reading it.  One vanity publisher contacted me about it.  (Answer:  “No thank you.”)  It’s a start.

I’m hoping to soon finish a short story set in the same milieu, a young adult steampunk novel (the setting of which I think is pretty unique and don’t want to reveal until I’m ready to either send it to agents, publishers, or publish it myself), and a science fiction/urban fantasy novel.  I’ll finish the short story first for sure and make that available on Wattpad; the other two, I’ll just keep plugging along on, with occasional input from my friend Tim, my daughter Maggie, and (as always) Sam.

If you’re interested in watching the ongoing development of a fiction writer, from unpublished hack with stars in his eyes, to (one hopes) published author, you’ve come to the right place.  In the meantime, there’s “A Study with Slugs”, Chapter 11.  Surf on over and take a look.

A Study with Slugs Chapter 10 Now Up

04 Thursday Jul 2013

Posted by dougom in Fiction, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

mystery, novel, santa cruz

banana slug
Yet more slugs (Image courtesy of Stewarts’s Stewardship Adventures in Nature)

Yup, I’m not done yet; Chapter 10 of my not-magnum not-opus is up and ready for you to read on Wattpad.  Take a gander and, should you be so moved, leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Chapter 9 Up on Wattpad

01 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by dougom in Fiction, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

mystery, novel, santa cruz

large_DSC_1493
The likelihood of running out of banana slug pics appears low
(Image courtesy of The Oregonian, where they obviously have slugs too)

I’m not getting any comments from anyone who’s not a friend or acquaintance, so I have no idea really if my stuff is any good.  My friends tell me it is, and that they are enjoying it, but they’re, ya know, my friends.  I’d like to think they’re good enough friends so if my stuff sucked they’d just tell me, but you never know, right?

But in any event, in my continuing effort to be an author of fiction and not just technical documentation for big computer companies–which, don’t get me wrong, is not a bad gig, and something that I enjoy–I have posted Chapter 9 on Wattpad.  Take a look, if you so desire.

Chapter 8 Up on Wattpad

28 Friday Jun 2013

Posted by dougom in Fiction, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

mystery, novel, santa cruz

03 banana slug Prairie Ck 01

You might think that by Chapter 8, I would be running low on pictures of banana slugs. And that would almost certainly have been true in the pre-Web era, or even the Web 1.0 era, but it sure ain’t true now.

And so you know what it means when there’s a new banana slug picture up on my blog:  That’s right, there’s a new chapter of my mystery novel set in Santa Cruz, home of the Fightin’ Slugs, out on Wattpad.  You know what to do.  So do it.

A Study with Slugs, Chapter 7: “Aftermath of Apocalypse” Now Available

25 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by dougom in Fiction, News

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

mystery, novel, santa cruz

capilano08040610
After all, why not?

The thunder of responses in my in-box has been precedented (i.e., no comments whatsoever) and, as such, I am compelled to let you all know that yet another chapter of my non-magnum opus 1980s Santa Cruz mystery novel is now ready for your reading pleasure on Wattpad.  Because I can, that’s why!

Do the Math, Creative People!

24 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by dougom in Opinion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

books, fiction, film, movies, television

hogwartsplates
Hogwarts dining hall: This look like 1000 kids to you, or closer to, oh, say, 300?
(Photo courtesy of BeyondHogwarts.com)

Reading and watching fiction always takes a certain amount of willing suspension of disbelief.  You have to believe (temporarily, to a certain extent) powered armor can work and alien/human hybrid clones can be created and controlled through wifi to watch “Avatar” without getting irritated; that Humbert Humbert can obsess over a barely-nubile girl; that Benedick and Claudio can swallow the transparent BS of Hero having a previously unremarked twin sister; etc.  Great or small, you have to go along with a certain amount of nonsense, scientific hand-waving, plot holes, and other problems to enjoy your fiction.  That’s the contract you make with the author/playwright/screenwriter.

Different people are thrown out of this state by different things, obviously.  There are some people who simply can’t watch science fiction at all, for example.  I can understand that.  For me, where I often trip up is on simple arithmetic.

For me, the most blatant example is the Harry Potter books.  J.K. Rowling, when asked, has stated that Hogwarts has “around 1000” students.

Hogwash.  Do the math, Jo!  It ain’t hard!

Each entering class is sorted into 4 houses.  Gryffindor in Harry’s year has 5 boys, 5 girls.  10 total students, then.  If the other houses are similar, that’s a class size of 40.  7 years at Hogwarts, 7×40, is 280 students.  Not 1000.  Not even close.  Rowling isn’t even close, because she didn’t do the math.

Think I’m being unfair to Rowling?  At Hogwarts, incoming students take Potions, Herbology, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, and Care of Magical Creatures.  It is clear that all these subjects only have a single teacher; you constantly read of Snape being frustrated at not being made “the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor”.  “The”.  i.e., one and only.  And if you have 7 years of students, and only one Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, he or she can’t teach more than about 280 students, anyway.  Each class contains two Houses, which means about 20 students.  If you taught 7 times a day–which from the books it is clear they don’t–that’s only 140 students per day.  Even if you alternate them–Gryffindor & Slytherin on Monday and Wednesday, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw on Tuesday and Thursday–you still can’t get anywhere near 1000 students, not with only a single teacher each for Potions, Herbology, and whatnot.  Mathematically impossible.

Hell, it’s probably not even as high as 280, since some kids bail after their fifth year.  Rowling didn’t do her math.

(By the way, I’ve read a number of Harry Potter readers’ defenses of Rowling’s count, and they all boil down to, “Well, she must have planned it out, so I’m sure she’s right, right?”  They’re not doing the math, either!)

Or take “The Hunger Games”.  I don’t have the book in front of me, but in the movie they take a train that is stated to go “200 miles an hour!  And we’ll be there in only 2 days!”  Seriously?  The only way a train going 200 miles an hour can take two days to arrive at The Capital from Appalachia (where District 12 is) would be if The Capital is in Sydney, and someone had dug a tunnel under the Pacific Ocean to get there.  200mph x 48 hours is 9800 miles.  From Miami Beach to Seattle–the longest straight-line distance in the continental U.S.–is only a smidge over 3100 miles; you can make that in less than 16 hours at 200mph.  Two days?  Someone didn’t do their math!

This is how I personally get tossed out of my warm zone of suspended disbelief; these simple, easily-corrected math errors made by people who were either too lazy or simply didn’t care to do simple arithmetic.  I know these are artists we’re talking about here, but jeez, this is multiplication.  I’m not talking about calculus or algebra or even long-friggin’-division here; just simple multiplication.  I know Creative Folks don’t enjoy math–if they did, they’d probably be engineers or something–but c’mon!  Balancing your checkbook is harder than this!

Anyway, that’s my excuse for staring at the page or screen and saying, “Oh, COME ON!”  What’s yours?

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