In reading a “Best of 2007” movie list on Moviefone, I had a bunch of random thoughts about the films and the actors that I thought I’d bore you with:

  • Why do all actresses–even the naturally voluptuous ones like Scarlett Johansson and Kate Winslet and (most alarmingly) Jennifer Connally–have to be rail-thin? First of all, every guy I know likes women who are shaped like (gasp!) women. You know: with breasts and hips and a backside and so on. But second of all, what on Earth is someone thinking by taking a womanly knock-out like Christina Ricci and trying to make her look like Kate Hudson? Yeesh. Does anyone find that attractive?
  • Speaking of Johansson, did anyone think that her appearance in Home Alone 3 would be the steppingstone to massive stardom? You never can tell.
  • Do Ethan Hawke or Timothy Hutton ever comb their hair? Do they even have combs?
  • Having Cate Blanchett play Dylan is genius. But it’s not enough to get me to watch “I’m Not There.”
  • What the heck do people love so much about Naomi Watts? I admit I’ve only seen her in a couple of movies, but she’s a) a block of wood, and b) totally generic looking in that “skinny blonde Hollywood actress” way. I mean, there have got to be a million of them (and I mean that literally) in L.A.; why so much love for this one?
  • Am I the only guy in the world who feels sorry for Chris Cooper, who always seems to be stuck playing dicks?
  • Speaking of feeling lonely, while I like Knocked Up, I certainly didn’t find it as hilarious as The 40 Year-old Virgin or Wedding Crashers (to name a couple of recent comedies I liked). Did I miss something?
  • Every critic in the world seems to love The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, and I may well too, if I ever see it. But honestly, I would have to be pretty worked up to want to see a movie about a guy who can only move his eyelid, for crying out loud. All the reviews I’ve read sound a lot like my mother when I was 10, telling me that I would love those lima beans, if I only gave them a try. (I tried them, nearly gagged, and ran outside and spit them out, in case you were wondering.)
  • I’m a big animation fan and I love Brad Bird, but does anyone really think Ratatouille was better than The Incredibles or Iron Giant?
  • I’m still waiting to see Juno, but the backlash against it kinda leaves a bad taste in my mouth. My guess is, 7 years of Bush has made reviewers grump.

Tune in to my next fluffy offering, weeks from now!

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