• For a long time I’ve wanted Hollywood to make a film called “Mary,” starring Mary Stuart Masterson, Mary Beth Hurt, Mary Elizabeth Mostrantonio, and Mary-Louise Parker. I mean, after all, why not?
  • Do you ever wonder if the airplane shoe bomber realizes how many millions of hours in productivity he has cost people in this country? I mean, because of that one guy, millions of people are forced to take off their friggin’ shoes every day. It’s insane. My guess is: not.
  • How come every season has one name except Fall? Fall is my favorite season personally, but why is it that it is named Autumn and Fall? Yes, yes, I know it’s because it’s descriptive, but we don’t call Summer “Hot”, Winter “Cold,” and Spring “Thank God I can finally go outside in my shirtsleeves.” Did Autumn bribe a Senator in 1827, or something?
  • A lot of people see a relatively simple invention and slap their heads and say, “I wish I had thought of that!” In my Dad the engineer’s case, it was the weed whacker. “Some fishing line and a little motor on the end of a stick? I should have thought of that!” The guy had a couple of patents, but lamented not inventing the weed whacker. What’s yours?
  • Why is it people say they trust someone “implicitly?” “Implicitly” means that it goes without saying, so if someone tells you that they trust you “implicitly,” they are telling you, and so it obviously is no longer “implicit.” Why can’t they say “I trust you completely,” or “absolutely,” or even just “I trust you?” But by declaring your level of trust as “implicit,” you are immediately negating it. Goofy.