This is completely frivolous. You have been duly notified.

I have a son who’s only 9 and loves the usual 9-year-old boy stuff; cartoons, superheroes, transformers, and that sort of thing. He dragged me to see Transformers in the theater (which wasn’t nearly as painful to watch as I was afraid it was going to be). And of course he had to have the latest Fantastic 4 movie as soon as it came out.

So here’s the thing: Jessica Alba, while a pretty wooden actress, is a babe; no doubt about it. A very attractive woman (although personally I prefer her with her natural brunette hair color). And what I can’t figure out is how they managed to make her look unattractive in this movie. I mean, seriously. She looked fine in the first one; why does she look so weird in this one?

Partly it’s her hair; they did something to it that makes it look like it was ironed flat, like an early-’60s folk singer. And partly it’s those blue contacts; like a lot of people who don’t wear contacts regularly, she does this round-eyed thing when she has them in. But somehow, throughout the whole movie I was distracted by this strange-looking woman wearing spandex who sort of looked like Jessica Alba, but not really. It was weird.

Yes, these are the things that sometimes occupy my tiny brain. Hey, I told you this was frivolous. I don’t rant about politics all the time!