Today (and tomorrow and for the rest of the week, for all I know) General Petraeus and Ambassador to Iraq Crocker (how appropriate!) will be testifying before Congress about conditions in Iraq.

We all know what those conditions are, of course: the Bush Administration’s incompetent war has unleashed a civil war and sectarian violence; there’s ethnic cleansing going on; several million refugees have fled the country; Americans are not considered “liberators” but “occupiers”; no progress towards a “national” government is being made (nor should we expect any, since the tribes pretty much hate each other); and we are now trying to police all this with 160,000 troops, many on their third, fourth, or fifth deployment, in a country of, what, 40 million or so? Those are the conditions.

So Petraeus and Crocker will get up and spill their absurd blather about the “progress” that’s been made, the cowardly Congress will fork over more billions to the incredibly unpopular Bush–who has proven again and again his inability to run a war–and we will continue this charade until a new President takes office in 2009. Despite poll after poll showing that Americans overwhelmingly want us out of Iraq. As do the Iraqis. As does most of the rest of the world.

And honestly, just once I’d like to see a few things happen:

  • While testifying before Congress, I’d like a Senator or Congressman say to Petraeus or Crocker, “Bullshit. That’s all bullshit. The situation there is a mess, our presence is making it worse, and we should get the fuck out. You are excused from this committee. Don’t let the door smack you in the ass on the way out.”
  • While giving yet another B.S.-fueled press briefing, I’d like the White House press corps to absolutely refuse to swallow the baloney spewed by Dana Perino or Tony Snow, and start throwing rotten fruit when they say things that are obviously and demonstrably lies.
  • I’d like one of these loudmouth Senators who grandstand about being tough to actually vote that way. Phil Specter leaps to mind.
  • I’d like to see someone the entire White House press corps agree beforehand on a question to press President Bush on, and to keep asking him. No matter who he calls on, keep asking the same question until he actually friggin’ answers it. Even the foreign press people. Even the Fox News people. It’s high time Bush actually gave a straight answer.
  • I’d like to see someone interview a high-ranking official and when they blatantly lie, call them on it. For example, when Cheney said, “You’re out of line,” I wanted the interviewer say, “No, sir, I am not, and the American people deserve an answer to the question.” These people are criminals, and we deserve answers. It’s time to stop letting them get away with their dodging and ducking.
  • When Bush goes one of these obnoxious photo ops, when he uses the press as his sickening lap dogs to sell this absurd war to the public, I want them to stand up in a body and say, “No thanks; we’re not going to be part of your propaganda machine.” If he gives one of his heavily-scripted speeches in Iraq, and no one is there to film it, did it happen? Would that whatever press maven he invites on his next Turkey Trip to Iraq this November have the juevos to say “No,” so that his trip is only filmed by official Army propagandists.
  • I’d like to see Bush booed, seriously booed, at one of his major speeches. No matter how carefully they vet the audience, how carefully the script the speech, I want him booed, long and loud. At the State of the Union. In front of the VFW. I don’t care; I want that guy booed. I want him to know how the other 77% of us feel, and I want him to know it in his bones.

Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?